the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
