Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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