So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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