Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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