so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
