In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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