There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
