Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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