you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
