eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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