he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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