my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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