ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
