How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize