I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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