i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My day in three words: secret purse cake
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
