I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i believe in u and ur pee
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
