Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize