My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
