I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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