I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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