I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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