No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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