I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Randomize
