Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I forget how to act sober
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
