Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I need moral support for this bender
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
