I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
