I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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