if you like me you must not know who I am
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
