I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
