I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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