Jerry, you need to find god
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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