That's intense
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
