weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
