I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
did i just pee glitter
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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