Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
