I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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