In the future we'll all be gay
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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