Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We are all done wearing pants today
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
God, I missed his penis.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
