bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize