Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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