do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
