what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
