I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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