I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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