I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I need water and some morals
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
