Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
The adults are the big ones right?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
