The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize