I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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