saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
