We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
