Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
