scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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