naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
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