he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
