look no pants
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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