I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
