You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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