she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize