is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
my sisters under your porch take her home
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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